PRESSED BETWEEN THE PAGES
DeAnn (Wolkow) Kruempel
We Need to Talk!
Those four words may strike fear in the heart of the teenager who missed curfew or the spouse who overspent on the family budget. But think of the statement as just that, a statement of fact.
Consider the positive aspect: as humans we need social, verbal interaction. Since we live in the Communication Age, a time when we can connect to the other side of the globe in seconds, our communication skills should be phenomenal, right? Wrong!
A recent essay in TIME magazine cited a study from the University of Arizona on spoken communication. The study revealed that from 2005 to 2019 the average person spoke about 330 fewer words per day for each year during that time frame. That’s 120,000 less words said over the course of a year. Psychologists agree that the trend and what it may mean for the future is not a good thing. Chatting with other people gives us a sense of belonging.
We need to talk.
The essay did not delve into possible causes for the growing silence, but we can speculate. Texting, emailing, contactless transactions and time spent on social media likely contribute. But as a person who encourages others to remember your growing-up years and tell what is pressed between the pages, I can’t help but think of things we did then that contributed to great verbal communication.
Meals, particularly supper, were spent sitting around the kitchen table. No radio or TV in the background. No heads bent over screens. We ate. We talked. We listened. Everything from what field to cultivate and the ripening sweet corn to the kid who bullied me on the bus could enter the conversation. Everyone in the family knew what was happening as well as the plan for the future.
Mom or one of the girls took “lunch” to the guys working out in the field. Every summer afternoon we would pack a sandwich, cookies and something to drink, and walk or drive out to the fields where Dad and the boys were working. They would stop whatever they were doing, sit in a shady spot and enjoy the lunch. And talk.
Sunday drives meant a verbal evaluation of each field and herd. Depending on where we wandered, there was always a chance we would drop in at a relative’s house. “Let’s see if Oscar and Ida are home.”
A quick trip to town, to the grocery store or the bank, meant banter with acquaintances and always a friendly hello to everyone we met, even strangers.
Some of my most memorable visits with my mother took place after supper next to the kitchen sink, dish towel in hand. There were advantages to not having a dishwasher!
The folks subscribed to a daily newspaper and the local paper. Blondie and Dagwood and Dennis the Menace were often chuckle-fodder at the noon “dinner” table. Not wanting to miss out, the youngsters soon perused the paper. Everyone paged through The De Smet News for pictures of people we knew. Clippings and a report were later given to the feature of fame.
All that face-to-face communication, whether courtesy chitchat or deep discourse added up to giving us a secure place in the world. That sense of belonging does not have to end if we don’t let it. We can still converse at mealtimes. We can take Sunday drives. We can greet strangers with a smile. The rewards are beyond words. After all, we need to talk!
The author’s column appears in a growing number of Midwest newspapers. Kruempel has compiled and published her column stories every year for the last five years. She has also published a historical fiction series, “Promises to Keep.” Her ten books are available on Amazon.
Signed copies may be purchased at the Harrison County Welcome Center. Contact Kruempel at deannkruempelauthor@gmail.com.
